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 Roles and the dynamics of a substance abusing family

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lightsun
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PostSubject: Roles and the dynamics of a substance abusing family   Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:18 am

I. DRUG ABUSER
The feelings : shame
Behavior : addiction (dependence)
The defense mechanism : denial
Payoff : relief of emotional pain
Price : personal destruction
Parental message : "Don't do like i'm doing, because you are just like me.
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PostSubject: substance   Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:24 am

II. THE ENABLER :
Feeling : anger, helplessness
Behavior : worry and over protection or lashing out in anger
Defense mechanism : avoidance
Payoff : peace (temporary)
Price : self deception and perpetuation of addiction
Parental message : "What dad did was terrible, but remember, he was an alcoholic."
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PostSubject: substance   Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:31 am

III. THE FAMILY HERO :
Feeling : false guilt
Behavior : over achievement
Defense mechanism : obsessive compulsive and rigid behavior
Payoff : positive attention and increased self esteem
Price : workaholism and burnout
Parental message : "It's your successes that make my life bearable."
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PostSubject: substance   Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:37 am

IV. SCAPEGOAT :
Feeling : damaged (inferior)
Behavior : delinquent, rebellious behavior
Defense mechanism : substitution
Payoff : negative attention and acceptance (wrong peers)
Price : rejection and alienation
Parental message : "If you would stop causing trouble, things would be OK."
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PostSubject: substance   Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:42 am

V. LOST CHILD :
Feeling : loneliness
Behavior : passive behavior (personal camouflage)
Defense mechanism : retreat
Payoff : escape
Price : social isolation
Parental message : "I love you. Now go away."
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PostSubject: substance   Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:48 am

VII. MASCOT (CLOWN OR JOKER) :
Feeling : fear of catastrophe
Behavior : joking, clowning, overactive, excessively helpful
Defense mechanism : diversion
Payoff : relief of fear
Price : immaturity
Parental message : "You're cute (entertaining) but not important."
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