The languages of love and relationships

Respect for you Mr. Longfellow, a brother soul....an enlightening sharing of life's sweet bitterness.... I love sweet-tarts!

Prettybirds wrote:

Love, the best kind IMO is the kind you feel for your family, friends. The kind that has no expectations beyond being able to flow out of you. The kind that shows through in a crisis of shame, a moment of joy. The kind that has foundations and walls that have stood the test of time. If one could but realize that if perhaps we viewed a love as solid a creature as that of a mother to child, if we could extend that amount of forgiveness to a love, could it not last forever. Could it be that your forgiveness might flow out of you with your love when allowed to be drawn out as opposed to being cramped in from indrawn flow. Cramped and distorted?

Your replies are interesting, but speak more about the circumstances and consequences of love than love itself. What exactly is flowing out when you love? What are you feeling for your family, friends when you love them? I rarely use the word "love" myself, because when I do, I feel I am being woefully imprecise, and risking assumptions that may be quite far off.

one feels being imprecise?
or: one feels the strong possibility of being labeled as such (or anything else, negative, that is)?

emotions have their own vibrational spectrum, and still can very harmoniously enhance precise thoughts conveyed. these thoughts, like musical notes, should not be bound to a certain jargon!

it is honorable for scientists to have their findings communicated in writing which requires much precision and "impartiality", but imho cannot live up to this claim any longer in a world-wide web of participants coming from all walks of life and, in addition, seek to protect "privacy" and other interests.

so, what is tantamount to any discourse on any subject, is a clearly established solid communications base between the participants. for good reason and the benefit to all.

good morning there (it's afternoon here already); we are expecting some rain.
looking forward to your most interesting contributions, in each one's individual and personally treasured ways.

Hi Romana and Lavender,

Romana, I can appreciate your unease with the word love. IMO it does absolutely no justice to the experience and truth of what it is. To be practical about love...it will take a bit of time for me to be able to express myself that way regarding this, I totally appreciate you asking me to do this! I will do my best.

I suppose, one language that could be applied to understand that flow, at least in its base form, is the study of Chakra energy.
The flow it speaks of is there and true, thus a good place to start identifying its existence within yourself. Way back when....this is the study I used to try and not only define but find the flows within me. Since then, I have built up a repertoire of knowledge of that flow's interaction within the scope of my life experiences and as a result, am well in tune...so in tune it is now musical not verbal....thank-you for making me redefine it for you as it is also for me!


More later...right now I have a whole head full of science I want to express to you...

lavender orchid wrote:

one feels being imprecise?
or: one feels the strong possibility of being labeled as such (or anything else, negative, that is)?

emotions have their own vibrational spectrum, and still can very harmoniously enhance precise thoughts conveyed. these thoughts, like musical notes, should not be bound to a certain jargon!

it is honorable for scientists to have their findings communicated in writing which requires much precision and "impartiality", but imho cannot live up to this claim any longer in a world-wide web of participants coming from all walks of life and, in addition, seek to protect "privacy" and other interests.

so, what is tantamount to any discourse on any subject, is a clearly established solid communications base between the participants. for good reason and the benefit to all.

I have no fear of labels, but I do try to avoid certain realities. If I am being imprecise, it is fine to label me as such; otherwise I may not realize it and in my ignorance, will not seek to correct it. Being imprecise, incorrect, or disorganized in my expressed thoughts makes me feel distinctly uncomfortable, in an almost physical way. I resist it with all of my resources, and cannot be content until it is sorted out.

Yes, scientists communicate findings, both in writing and orally, with as much precision and impartiality as we can muster. In a way, this goes along with protecting privacy and fencing off other interests. One conveys the information one wishes to share; no more, no less. I think it is just my habit to communicate this way in general, if for no other reason than that I am not very comfortable or successful with other modes of communication. The two main exceptions to this are music and actions.

Regarding the highlighted: how would you recommend such a solid communications base be established???

prettybirds wrote:

Romana, I can appreciate your unease with the word love. IMO it does absolutely no justice to the experience and truth of what it is. To be practical about love...it will take a bit of time for me to be able to express myself that way regarding this, I totally appreciate you asking me to do this! I will do my best.

I suppose, one language that could be applied to understand that flow, at least in its base form, is the study of Chakra energy.
The flow it speaks of is there and true, thus a good place to start identifying its existence within yourself. Way back when....this is the study I used to try and not only define but find the flows within me. Since then, I have built up a repertoire of knowledge of that flow's interaction within the scope of my life experiences and as a result, am well in tune...so in tune it is now musical not verbal....thank-you for making me redefine it for you as it is also for me!

I have some familiarity with the chakra system, so I should be able to follow your explanation. I have never considered love in this context, however. I realized after asking you my last question that it might be a pointless one. Love is quite subjective, and will be experienced differently by each of us. As with many things, your answer will likely not be mine, though I may be able to learn from it, and I appreciate everything you have shared. Perhaps the better question for me to ask is: what in my own experiences would appropriately be called by the word "love"? I can't say I know.

Hi Romana, this flow of energy is perhaps related to your experience of love in that, whatever love is doing to you, your energy will express itself through these Chakras ( I actually don't like the Chakra analogy as it is too biased for me but in essence, it does speak of the energy and I can't think of anything better.) For me, believe it or not, it is too philosphical in its description of what and how these energies are.
My emotions greatly influence how generally well I feel, my health both mental and physical, are a direct result of this flow as per Chinese Acupuncture methodology, since the only way to register love is through emotion, its signature is definable in the emotional effect of my energy flow. For me, regardless of how I feel about someone or something, it is the effect on my energy that matters to me. If whatever it may be has an adverse effect on my energy I at the very least feel the need to weigh the situation heavily and can be quite hard on myself about allowing myself to have/do it. In times that you need to be so reflective, you are doing the same thing as me, you could feel it too.
Take the quiet time to let yourself learn how. It is by understanding my surroundings in this way that I can gain strength in my decisions about things, friendship, love, what pants to wear....do they make me look good, ahhh they do, as a result my energy is flowing around uninpeded by negativity, I actually like my ass today . Bear in mind the scope if importance...

Say perhaps, a co-dependant person has met someone who feeds the need. Through the act of feeding the need, the action of energy flow inside the co-dependant is strengthened by the act of projection and response between them. Is it a good increase though? Not really...
It is important to be logical/unbiased/thoughtful in what energy you allow yourself to feed on.

if all are interrelated, why still connotate anything to do with (in-)dependence so negatively?

Hi just because anything that denudes you of your own ability to be whole in the end will leave you with big a deficite. If your love is unattached, if you lose that love, the recovery time is remarkably less than if that love was co-dependant. There is great truth in the undsrstanding that a relationship is something you do, not something you are. A co-dependant has a hard time drawing the line in the sand regarding this...instead of defining the relationship in terms of themselves, they define themselves by the relationship...to big a risk for me
I can handles the terms of co-dependancy in friendships but not in love relationships. And not with my familial relationships, not even with my son...very independant....thats me

I don't mean unconnected by unattached, just a love that is wanted versus needed.

There are some loves that I need...I am very co-dependant with natures love. If I don't allow myself to spend copious amounts of time communing with nature, alone, I get all unbalanced and foggy. It is very cleansing to allow that wealth of knowledge/love course through my viens. When I hug a tree, the exchange is almost overwhelming, at times I tear up like crazy. Especially if I sought out the hug from sadness....yup I can be wierd...love me anyway?

Birds you and fears no deficit of anykind!

i must be coming from a different planet....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIc92YM6le4

isn't this cute? but don't take it as being me.

That is very cute. You aren't on a different planet, I'm just in serious mode!

it could be that the virtual space has a prismatic effect on us that affects us very differently.
and we might not yet have found a "corrective" in terms of communications for that.
medicine i'd call it.

Prettybirds wrote:

My emotions greatly influence how generally well I feel, my health both mental and physical, are a direct result of this flow as per Chinese Acupuncture methodology, since the only way to register love is through emotion, its signature is definable in the emotional effect of my energy flow. For me, regardless of how I feel about someone or something, it is the effect on my energy that matters to me. If whatever it may be has an adverse effect on my energy I at the very least feel the need to weigh the situation heavily and can be quite hard on myself about allowing myself to have/do it. In times that you need to be so reflective, you are doing the same thing as me, you could feel it too.
Take the quiet time to let yourself learn how. It is by understanding my surroundings in this way that I can gain strength in my decisions about things, friendship, love, what pants to wear..:

Now I am (more) confused. Is there, then, no love without emotion? I seem to remember on some other thread you wrote that love is not emotion. What is the relationship between energy and emotion? You seem to be contrasting the input of emotion with the input of your energy state, giving more weight to the second in making decisions (seems wise).

I do not understand the highlighted. What will I feel if I take quiet time to reflect? I never have trouble making decisions, and have made very few that I regret, yet there is usually very little emotional content to the process. Please pardon the ignorance of these questions. It is rare that I have the opportunity to ask them of such a patient and thoughtful correspondent.

Romana:

you have changed your avatar pic (looks very beautiful ). what did the intent to do so "feel" like?

also, you are repeating thoughts picked up elsewhere which gives them another angle to look at.
the onlooker may pick up your intent with the thoughts written down.

the mind has a continuous flow of information to deal with. what was once called fantasy when it saw particles assembled to forms and figures, is now the norm and seems to inspire a lot of willful construction.

how much construction is wholesome for anyone's life support at any given moment?

Lavender, I don't think there is a limit to what we can take, or create. If there is one I think it might be defined by our acceptance of unpleasantness. Our inability to accept the bad that always must come from the good.
I like Romana's picture too, it makes me think of microtubules and maps...

Hi Ladies,

One of the simplest ways to become aware of internal energy play comes from the simple answer of yes or no.
Each and every time you come to a no conclusion about something, the energy pattern in you will reflect that no. Or yes, whatever the case may be.

It is possible to understand that no or yes before the thought is completed. It is a simple exercise to find it but it does take time to understand what you find.
When you have a few minutes to yourself, contemplate the word yes. Sit quietly and ask yourself, what does yes feel like to me. You will have a physical reaction. If you don't feel the reaction right away, don't let that deter you, keep going with it, it will work in the end. Then do it for the word no. If say you were to do this, with honest application for some time...maybe 20 times or maybe 100 times, in the end, you will recognize the different effect of both words on the way you feel. Given enough time and desire, you can start to recognize it long before you need to express it, it is much in tune with intuition....
In fact there have been many times over the years that this expression has been in conflict with how I let myself react. I want it even though my body, my intuition, is telling me NO don't do it! Or yes, what are you a fool?! Mind over matter stuff.

One important mental exercise everyone should do is this....every night when you go to bed, tell yourself that you want to remember your dreams. Some people say you should try and write them down in the morning when you wake up...sounds good in theory, but I find as soon as you try and think consciously about it you lose it...I just lay there and let my thoughts flow at their own will and remember much more because of it. It took about 2 years of doing this continually for me to be able to remember vividly. It was worth the exercise.

Vogel

Hi again, Love is something separate from emotion, in theory, I guess you could say that there is no love without emotion...can you picture it like the electron? The wave is the emotion, but we have never seen the actual electron? Does that make sense? I would want to say that emotion is our mechanism for recognizing love when its around, like the measuring tools of science.

Yes, without taking the time yet to find articles that explain the effect of emotion on our personal energy field and how that relates to our health, state of mind and so on...I'll go looking for some.

When we are not aware of our energy play within ourselves, the conscious thought rules. When in reality, the conscious thought is an end result of a communication that has nothing to do with words, images or experience. Quantum knowing is the closest theoretical explanation that I've found to date.

To hear that you have not much of a problem making decisions, tells me that you are already well in tune with yourself, just not knowing the language yet to define it within yourself. I hope I can help you with this...start with the yes or no and include the desire to remember your dreams. Give it a year at least of doing it too. Don't give up!

Right now, I am seriously interested in sensorimotor memory. It is way more complex than semantic memory. It has interesting applications...I'll elaborate more later

Prettybirds wrote:

Lavender, I don't think there is a limit to what we can take, or create. If there is one I think it might be defined by our acceptance of unpleasantness. Our inability to accept the bad that always must come from the good.
I like Romana's picture too, it makes me think of microtubules and maps...

ok, agreed.
just making a small mental "knot" here: where do we shelve our memories?

btw., "unpleasantness" in a limitless creatvity must serve the purpose of guidance. imho.

lavender orchid wrote:

you have changed your avatar pic (looks very beautiful ). what did the intent to do so "feel" like?

I am not sure I can answer what it felt like. I changed it because I have been using the previous one for a long time, since joining this forum, I think, and I like to change avatar every so often. The old one is one of my favorites, so I kept it longer than most, but it was time for something different. This is a fractal image. I had one depicting the DNA helix, but find this nicer looking.

yeah, Romana:

without wanting to trespass on your "privacy", what you describe was what i "suspected" and, therefore, asked.
we are told we cannot, since should not, read each others' minds. but we can.
and that, imho, is intelligence.
now, the abuse of this intelligence.....

i know u and i disagree on "christianity" perhaps. but i do trust you all the same and, if asked 'why' would answer: judge ye not lest ye be judged.
wisdom has been prevalent in all cultures and should, therefore, remain an evergreen interest to maintain prior to any "differences" that seem to separate us.

lavender orchid wrote:

i know u and i disagree on "christianity" perhaps. but i do trust you all the same and, if asked 'why' would answer: judge ye not lest ye be judged.
wisdom has been prevalent in all cultures and should, therefore, remain an evergreen interest to maintain prior to any "differences" that seem to separate us.

I have come to appreciate christianity much more since I have ceased trying to be a christian myself. It is like someone else's shoes, or coat: I can admire and appreciate the functionality, fit, appearance and suitability to the wearer, while recognizing that they are nowhere near my size and do not match my own wardrobe and tastes. Beauty in diversity.

lavender orchid wrote:
i know u and i disagree on "christianity" perhaps. but i do trust you all the same and, if asked 'why' would answer: judge ye not lest ye be judged.
wisdom has been prevalent in all cultures and should, therefore, remain an evergreen interest to maintain prior to any "differences" that seem to separate us.

Romana wrote,
I have come to appreciate christianity much more since I have ceased trying to be a christian myself. It is like someone else's shoes, or coat: I can admire and appreciate the functionality, fit, appearance and suitability to the wearer, while recognizing that they are nowhere near my size and do not match my own wardrobe and tastes. Beauty in diversity.


I write,
Shared and common ground between us, links us in the pleasure of future endeavor!

re: the languages of love and relationships

i just saw another forum, one of those millions , where one big topic recently was that "speaking one's truth" needs 2 (like ..2tango ): one who speaks and another who hears.

if i ever had to learn anything in life, then it's the golden rule, by experience: is whatever i dish out also what i could stomach, which - right now - links my mind to the sleeping beauty fairy... (and the lakota people \!! with their wonderful perception of time and space).

i should sleep well in a while.
tangoes with wolves

and wearing no sheep clothes either..

Unshared and uncommon ground keeps us quessing, sharp and interesting.