Communications skills test

Romana wrote:

Prettybirds wrote:

Sympathy is a social affinity in which one person stands with another person, closely understanding his or her feelings. Also known as empathic concern, it is the feeling of compassion or concern for another, the wish to see them better off or happier. Although empathy and sympathy are often used interchangeably, a subtle variation in ordinary usage can be detected. To empathize is to respond to another's perceived emotional state by experiencing feelings of a similar sort.[1] Sympathy not only includes empathizing, but also entails having a positive regard or a non- fleeting concern for the other person.[2]

How about when one person stands with another person, closely understanding his or her needs? This is more my style of compassion, or concern. I often cannot understand their feelings, but if I can understand what they need, will try to help.

Prettybirds wrote:

In common usage, sympathy is usually making known one's understanding of another's unhappiness or suffering, especially when it is grief. Sympathy can also refer to being aware of other (positive) emotions as well.

I am terrible at this. Perhaps the one thing that leaves me at a complete loss for words is to be confronted by someone else's grief.

need not be "terrible". the signals we send to each other are much more intricate and do not have to be within an exactly matching frequency range. we are different \!! which is also a necessity (individuals, in a continuum which each should find worth to discover).

both your help and your humility about it can be very much appreciated. from here to you, right now.

Romana, the skillyou have in not getting overwhelmed is invaluable. It is the skill that defines nurses...empathic people make awful nurses because they are at a loss to get past the emotion, especially of pain, to make the all important decisions needed to cope with the situation. A calm, rational minded, sympathetic person is what is needed

You would be a person who could slap the hysterical and say get it together, going on like this is going to solve nothing followed with a big hug and a serious effort to get to the bottom of the problem. I like that!

So far out of these examples of what ego centrism might be about I am inclined towards Ayn Rand. I see a heavy altruistic hand in both religion and politics. Not that these are altruistic organizations but they use the principle to accomplish the swaying of public opinion and action. I think the social ego centrism movement is a growing public awareness that they have been well set up to function as mules through altruistic methodology and we are finally growing enough in number's that the curtain is falling, as we have said before. As we struggle through this growing trend towards the big picture of self, we will, in time, make great changes for the better all over the world. Just perhaps not as fast as we would like...

Prettybirds wrote:

So far out of these examples of what ego centrism might be about I am inclined towards Ayn Rand. I see a heavy altruistic hand in both religion and politics. Not that these are altruistic organizations but they use the principle to accomplish the swaying of public opinion and action. I think the social ego centrism movement is a growing public awareness that they have been well set up to function as mules through altruistic methodology and we are finally growing enough in number's that the curtain is falling, as we have said before. As we struggle through this growing trend towards the big picture of self, we will, in time, make great changes for the better all over the world. Just perhaps not as fast as we would like...

these very same thoughts came to me while off for rest.

and then, i would still see my task in my situation as getting into the thought patterns of everyone uttering public statements. perhaps you can then "extract" the understanding by a religiously divined command, or you still can ask yourself what or whom you accord importance over another's need. (this other might be you. now or later, or have been you at some point in time.)

then you might argue the point of sacrificing individual skill (rather underrated and underdeveloped) to a societal "whole" which results you can see, if you care to be honest enough.

uneasy compromise with the status quo in exchange for an image of peace and freedom?
was my mind lazy, or my negotiating skill too lousy to keep up with the top notches in power?

oh yeah, i share everybody's dream!
oh yeah, if i can't get god's favor, glory another!
oh yeah, it's just how it is and has always been: the human condition!

btw. if i distance myself from ayn rand and the "movement" she apparently spawned, does that mean i must forego any process of "loving my neighbor as myself"?

lavender orchid wrote:

Prettybirds wrote:

So far out of these examples of what ego centrism might be about I am inclined towards Ayn Rand. I see a heavy altruistic hand in both religion and politics. Not that these are altruistic organizations but they use the principle to accomplish the swaying of public opinion and action. I think the social ego centrism movement is a growing public awareness that they have been well set up to function as mules through altruistic methodology and we are finally growing enough in number's that the curtain is falling, as we have said before. As we struggle through this growing trend towards the big picture of self, we will, in time, make great changes for the better all over the world. Just perhaps not as fast as we would like...

these very same thoughts came to me while off for rest.

and then, i would still see my task in my situation as getting into the thought patterns of everyone uttering public statements. perhaps you can then "extract" the understanding by a religiously divined command, or you still can ask yourself what or whom you accord importance over another's need. (this other might be you. now or later, or have been you at some point in time.)

then you might argue the point of sacrificing individual skill (rather underrated and underdeveloped) to a societal "whole" which results you can see, if you care to be honest enough.

uneasy compromise with the status quo in exchange for an image of peace and freedom?
was my mind lazy, or my negotiating skill too lousy to keep up with the top notches in power?

oh yeah, i share everybody's dream!
oh yeah, if i can't get god's favor, glory another!
oh yeah, it's just how it is and has always been: the human condition!

For starters, I don't confuse man written religion with the truth of God. I respect your belief and understand it. I even respect it because your personal view is individual to you and does not seem to get swayed but religious rhetoric. Your eyes are well open.
Secondly, ego centrism was has been around for a long time, the current trend of ego centrism within the social ranks is a far healthier version that what floated around 1000 years ago and before, and after....
Life is full of self sacrifice, even to the point of death. It is not that we need to be rid of it but to find a better balance.
There are so many checks and points within the movement to help fellow man. How much is too much help. Where is too much help wrong and where is it right. A very fluid situation and one that's hard to generalize. Also keeping in mind that adversity breeds change and peace breeds complacency.

And no to you being too lazy in any way. The whole world cannot focus on the same thing...we need us all, even the stupid bad!
Stupid bad meaning the corrupt faction of our species.

it is always tricky to speak about confusing man-written religion with god's truth.

and what it boils down to: right or wrong.... for others in competition for advantages over one another.

precisely such has been "recorded" in holy books (at least those of the judeo-christian traditions).

btw., the original paradise might have belonged to an ancestral heritage from long before the emergence of these traditions.

\!!

not eating from the tree of knowledge of good and bad .... to my humble understanding meant a very merciful commandment or admonition from someone, whether god or man, who knew the whole nine yards of intellectual wizardry to escape love and wisdom.

Hi girl, I want to say I'm sorry if I regale you with the places I am looking in for information...it is because I have never talked about Altruism before. I needed to understand what it was before I could comment. I figure, if I show you where my opinion is coming from, then you will see what I understand to date and can then enlarge upon my knowledge base both from a personal and intellectual standpoint. This talk and the education one and the culture on are new territory for me. I am loner at heart and while being around such talks before, I have either sat in silence or outright disagreed. History books are hard for me to read, it always inspires me to be creative and I get sidetracked. It is easier for me to learn, I am finding, with the grounding help of both you and Romana. I trust your opinion and I trust your handling of mine. I thank you both for this.

not eating from the tree of knowledge of good and bad .... to my humble understanding meant a very merciful commandment or admonition from someone, whether god or man, who knew the whole nine yards of intellectual wizardry to escape love and wisdom.[b]

I find this statement to be altruistic in ethics. Ignorance is not bliss, it is nullifying of the true reason for living and that is to experience, learn and grow. To not eat the apple thus never experiencing bad, or unleashing bad, is naught more than a well worded, ultimately pacifying, bastardization of what was originally, likely an earlier understanding of the care needed when dealing with knowledge. Of the power of intent.

An apple a day...

no no, don't be sorry (yet ) for anything you provide here.
in terms of the communications skill test, i might be the one who interrupts too early.

that was one of the irksome questions: not that i would not willingly reply, but its suggesting precisely the narrow space to which one must shrink~~~ before anyone with the gall to formulate it like this.

how do i deal with intimidation, as the elsewhere mentioned 'celestine prophecies' burdened a poor me with (the understanding primarily determined by one's social position and situation) ~~~~ and a sort of broadway shown out of the misery: change perception.

i guess i change perception, but the circumstances on a global scale got worse instead of better.
my bad, my fault?

but let me know your take on such matters, i keep being interested, above-named behavioral flaws not withstanding.



and hey, agreed on an apple a day!

that was one of the irksome questions: not that i would not willingly reply, but its suggesting precisely the narrow space to which one must shrink~~~ before anyone with the gall to formulate it like this.

Yes, I agree. A test of this nature should have a very well explained description of what exactly it is testing for so as to avoid to a great degree any misunderstanding and negativity in the result.

i guess i change perception, but the circumstances on a global scale got worse instead of better.
my bad, my fault?

A growing understanding of what is truly going on out there in the world is the only front where good can really make a difference. It is a heavy load to bear...

Finding the good in all of this is what keeps me motivated to keep on keeping on. People finding the good is exactly what this world needs! More recognition of and at the same time more of intent.

ha!


seriously:

finding the good....

how good can one be in making contact. contacting all these sitting ducks radiating already they might not bother to answer personally?

how do i deal with intimidation, as the elsewhere mentioned 'celestine prophecies' burdened a poor me with (the understanding primarily determined by one's social position and situation) ~~~~ and a sort of broadway shown out of the misery: change perception.

More thoughts on this....intimidation, the kind we inflict on ourselves or the kind brought on by judgment from others?
The Celestine Prophesy, while yet another comedy of errors, did manage to capture world interest there for awhile and continued closed door scrutiny. Another old school attempt at recreating the meaning of life in a set of rules and regulations designed to keep you guessing and unsure.

how good can one be in making contact. contacting all these sitting ducks radiating already they might not bother to answer personally?

As a basically unsure kind of person, facing all those ducks not wanting to get personally involved makes me intimidated. Sometimes I can face them down and sometimes I cannot. In many areas of my life, including personal philosophy.

Prettybirds wrote:

how good can one be in making contact. contacting all these sitting ducks radiating already they might not bother to answer personally?

As a basically unsure kind of person, facing all those ducks not wanting to get personally involved makes me intimidated. Sometimes I can face them down and sometimes I cannot. In many areas of my life, including personal philosophy.

wow. blessed assurance, defense strategists invented u-turns.

http://healing.about.com/cs/empathic/a/uc_empathtraits.htm

Prettybirds wrote:

http://healing.about.com/cs/empathic/a/uc_empathtraits.htm

but confused all too often not with but by sociopaths!

will relate actual story: skilled and using art!

it's truly amazing.

I had to be here for awhile and hang with ya girl...I do remember people's smell, very well. Interesting. Thanks Lavender for bringing me over here...

If you're an empathic person, able to tune into other people's feelings, then the chances are you've also got a keen sense of what other people smell like! We've known for some time that the brain areas involved in empathy and recognising facial emotions partially overlap with the brain areas associated with smell. Wen Zhou's and Denise Chen's new finding shows that this overlap extends to behavioural performance.

Forty-four female university students were twice tasked with smelling three t-shirts and picking out the one that belonged to their room-mate. The t-shirts had been carefully prepared - worn overnight for an average of eight hours, after the owner had used scent-free toiletries for the previous two days.

Based on their performance, the students were arranged in three groups: 21 of them failed both times to pick out the correct t-shirt; 10 of them picked the correct t-shirt once; and 13 of them picked the correct t-shirt both times. The key finding was that the students who both times identified their room-mate's t-shirt by its smell also tended to excel at a test of identifying facial emotional expressions, and at a test of empathy in which they had to say how someone would feel in a range of different situations.

The students' confidence in their choices of t-shirt showed no association with their actual performance, thus suggesting that the ability to identify a room-mate's smell appeared to be implicit.

Further analysis showed that it was specifically the students' skill at using smell for "social" purposes that was linked with empathy. General keenness of smell and the ability to name a range of different odours were not linked to empathy in any way. The intensity and pleasantness of the t-shirt smells were also unrelated to the students' ability to identify their room-mates.

"To our knowledge, this study provides the first empirical evidence of the behavioural connection between a sensory system and emotional processing," the researchers said. "The behavioural findings reported here suggest that sociochemical signals may tap into a broader network of social cognition and emotion, and that similar underlying mechanisms may regulate sociochemosensory and emotional competencies."
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy-altruism

How neat, lets mix both the altruism and empathy veins on this set of pages.

most interesting, indeed.

smell: germans have a term for general dislike of persons: einander nicht riechen können.
but more often the term, einander nicht leiden können is used.

riechen = to smell
leiden = to suffer

the english "i can't stand ..." paints different pictures, lets an outsider sense a different set of habit patterns, a different culture. different ways of acting out, seldom following up with a thought exchange of personal origins.

smelling the roses was something i once experience in the middle of nowhere, only asphalt, cars, and a lot of dust in a rather deserted area on the outskirts of some suburbia.
no particular breeze. no horticultures visible.

moving further, no one would walk in america, i reached a destination: yes, there were roses around that house, but not giving off that smell realized before. amazing.

a few other such experiences: again in a traffic-congested area of a big city, yes, people passing each other by, all of a sudden the air is filled with the fragrance of musk.
no one is moving a muscle in their faces. am i deluded?

in the late eighties, national geographics has done an extended world-wide study on the connection between the sense of smell and memory.
...
pheromones, of course, were the scientific fashion craze of middle class women's magazines ....
rather boring theme!

p.s. novel and film, "the perfume" may clutter one's perceptive originality..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfume_%28novel%29

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Your results indicate that you are extremely adept at interpreting other people�s words and actions and seeing things from their perspective, which likely results in very few misunderstandings. You seem to realize that empathy is an essential part of good interpersonal skills and therefore, will do your best to place yourself in other people�s shoes in order to better understand them. You can generally get a good sense of what others are thinking and will likely adjust yourself accordingly if the people you�re conversing with seem confused or perhaps uncomfortable. Good job!

Snapshot Report
Insightfulness
100 (out 0f 100)

Your results indicate that you are extremely adept at interpreting other people’s words and actions and seeing things from their perspective, which likely results in very few misunderstandings. You seem to realize that empathy is an essential part of good interpersonal skills and therefore, will do your best to place yourself in other people’s shoes in order to better understand them. You can generally get a good sense of what others are thinking and will likely adjust yourself accordingly if the people you’re conversing with seem confused or perhaps uncomfortable. Good job!